Movie Reviews

The Story: A mad scientist's hunchbacked assistant gets his shot at becoming a full-fledged evil genius when his master blows himself up. The Lowdown: Mildly funny, but nonetheless a flat and derivative kiddie flick with nothing more than a few bright bits.

The Story: A series of supposedly “based on a true story” vignettes mixed with a travelogue, all of which is supposed to illuminate the greatness of America. The Lowdown: An inept, low-budget, poorly acted attempt at patriotic flag-waving that would be more at home on public access TV than in theaters.

Uncounted: The New Math of American Elections will be shown at 7 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 18, at the Fine Arts Theatre. The screening will be followed by a Q&A with the filmmaker.

The Story: A young missionary couple with problems of their own become involved with various forms of intrigue on a train going from China to Moscow. The Lowdown: Less a throwback to old-style thrillers set on trains than a rather grim (occasionally horrific) character study that builds to thriller status in its last third. Worth…

The Hendersonville Film Society will show Verdi: Messa da Requiem at 2 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 21, in the Smoky Mountain Theater at Lake Pointe Landing Retirement Community, 333 Thompson St., Hendersonville. (From Asheville, take I-26 to U.S. 64 West, turn right at the third light onto Thompson Street. Follow to the Lake Point Landing entrance…

The Story: A wealthy New York City society woman divorces her husband over his affair with a salesgirl who works at Saks. The Lowdown: A largely unfunny, ill-advised and completely unnecessary version of The Women that squanders the talent of its cast.

The Story: A pair of none-too-bright gym workers come across a CD that appears to contain top-secret CIA information and attempt to blackmail its owner into paying for its return. The Lowdown: The Coen Brothers' latest is a very funny, very mean, very dark farce about humankind's amassed self-centered stupidity. It's frequently hilarious, but it's…

The Story: Two aging detectives go after a vigilante who’s knocking off criminals. The Lowdown: A largely pointless crime flick that’s never nearly as clever as it thinks it is, centered around a couple of phoned-in performances by Robert De Niro and Al Pacino.

Persepolis will be shown at 2 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 20, at the Asheville Art Museum.

Bitter Moon, part of a series of Classic Cinema From Around the World, will be presented at 8 p.m. Friday, Sept. 19, at Courtyard Gallery, 9 Walnut St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 273-3332.

The Story: Two matriarchs and long-standing friends band together to help prevent their children from destroying themselves and everything the two women have worked for. The Lowdown: A typical Tyler Perry soap opera, with one particularly nasty scene, a few performances far better than the movie and more technical proficiency than usual.

The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz, part of a series of Classic Cinema From Around the World, will be presented at 8 p.m. Friday, Sept.12, at Courtyard Gallery, 9 Walnut St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 273-3332.

Walk-In Theatre will present Reefer Madness Friday, Sept. 12, starting at dusk in the parking lot behind Westville Pub. Sponsored by the merchants of the Bledsoe Building. Admission is free. As usual, patrons are asked to leave pets and coolers at home, but to bring lawn chairs.

The Hendersonville Film Society will show The Glass Mountain at 2 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 14, in the Smoky Mountain Theater at Lake Pointe Landing Retirement Community, 333 Thompson St., Hendersonville. (From Asheville, take I-26 to U.S. 64 West, turn right at the third light onto Thompson Street. Follow to the Lake Point Landing entrance and…

The Story: A completely amoral, world-weary hit man goes to Bangkok for a final job, only to discover morals and the price that comes with them. The Lowdown: An unbearably stupid action picture that wants to be a profound neo-noir character piece, but winds up completely missing the mark.

The Story: Another in a series of movies filled with random pop-culture references from the same guys who brought you Meet the Spartans. The Lowdown: A home-lobotomy kit would be more fun and possibly less detrimental.

The Story: Three high-school seniors -- and longtime buddies -- head off to college orientation for a weekend, only to become beset with booze, scantily clad women, tortuous frat boys and nearly every bodily fluid imaginable. The Lowdown: A crude, idiotic and unoriginal attempt at a teen gross-out comedy that’s not so much a movie,…

The Story: A man who may or may not be a double agent aligns himself with a terrorist group who are out to make a devastating attack on the U.S. The Lowdown: Don Cheadle -- and to a lesser extent, Guy Pearce -- provide the main reason to see this overly complicated terrorist movie that…

Live Flesh, part of a series of Classic Cinema From Around the World, will be presented at 8 p.m. Friday, Sept. 6, at Courtyard Gallery, 9 Walnut St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 273-3332.

The Story: A mercenary attempts to transport a girl with mystical powers to her mother who heads up a religious order in New York City. The Lowdown: Vin Diesel -- complete with an extra chin -- is back. Why is open to question. Rent Children of Men instead.

The Story: In order to save the drama department from budget cuts, an inept high-school drama teacher decides to write and stage an accidentally offensive sequel to Shakespeare’s Hamlet. The Lowdown: A strong concept and a nice comedic turn by Steve Coogan isn’t enough to save Hamlet 2 from a lackluster climax.