Letter: Dating hopeful missed the memo on women

Graphic by Lori Deaton

[Re: “From a Distance: What I’ve Learned About Dating in Asheville During a Pandemic,” Jan. 6, Xpress]

Attention, ladies of Asheville!

Our prayers have been answered: There’s a new self-righteous douchebro-with-a-hat from Brooklyn for us to immediately swipe left on!

It sounds like Kevin Miller missed the memo while he was LiViNg iT Up in NyC, but — Waking Life got shut down, and women are people now! Crazy, right?!

It’s dark times, but maybe if he stops thinking of women in terms of “butterfaces,” one of us females will finally agree to be his pen pal.


Not Me

— Annie Frazier

Editor’s response: Thank you for your feedback, along with that of the other letter writer on the topic in this issue and the multitude of online commenters who shared their thoughts on Kevin Miller’s recent opinion piece in our annual Humor Issue. Humor is a tricky thing, and written humor even more so. It can be a way to shine a light on our community and its foibles — which is one reason we chose to publish this piece. But part of deploying humor effectively is reading the room, and it’s safe to say that neither Kevin nor the Xpress editors read Asheville’s room correctly in this case. We’re sorry for any offense that caused and hope you will not hate on us too long. We live and learn — and work at listening and empathizing — and hope you’ll keep reading Xpress.


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9 thoughts on “Letter: Dating hopeful missed the memo on women

  1. Irwin M. Fletcher

    Outrage culture wins again. The only thing that’s worse is the apology by Mountain Xpress. This city is full of fragile crybabies.

  2. Peter Robbins

    A constructive suggestion: If the piece was meant to be satirical, it should have started out with a plea for local patriots not to forget our basic nookie rights when raising their ever-vigilant and freedom-loving objections to the pandemic restrictions foisted on us by the totalitarian state. With that premise, the author could have proceeded to show his love-starved backside from as many angles as he wanted. Readers would have charitably assumed he was exaggerating the oafishness for comic effect, and he would have had no occasion to disillusion them. The joke would have been on everybody.

  3. Enlightened Enigma

    probably the ‘outrage culture’ for freedom of speech …

  4. Big Al

    I strongly oppose Political Correctness, Cancel Culture, and all other forms of control on legitimate speech and debate, but this “article” struck me as sincere and non-political. In other words, this guy really did think that he was in the norm in his misogynistic pursuit of impersonal sexual gratification. The fact that MtnX could not pick up on this and would mistake it for humor and satire just shows how hollowed out the publication’s talent pool has become.

  5. East Clintwood

    I thought his article was somewhat humorous. I’m not a “wHyTe” man. But as a heterosexual man who is very familiar with the liberal mentality in Asheville , I can see where he’s coming from. We all know commentary from “straight white cis” men is automatically met with skepticism and deemed as misogynistic. Even if it’s true! For future reference, he should know his audience better. Whiny snowflakes can’t laugh at anything too controversial.

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