The Humor Issue
Volume
26
/ Issue 23
Cover Design Credit:
Scott SouthwickCover Photography Credit:
Brent Brown
The annual Xpress humor issue embraces the absurd to skewer Western North Carolina’s 2019 news. Our special joke section features satirical predictions, imagined letters from corrupt former Buncombe County officials, a full comics page and more.
arts
Smart bets: Sandra E. Johnson
The S.C.-based author presents the 366-day 'Mind-Body Peace Journal' at Malaprop’s on Monday, Jan. 6.Smart bets: Harlem Globetrotters
The team of elite dunkers and Guinness World Record holders plays the U.S. Cellular Center on Sunday, Jan. 5.Smart bets: A Sandburg Story Slam
On Monday, Jan. 6, storytellers from across the region will present true stories at the Henderson County Library's Kaplan Auditorium.Comedy troupe Reasonably Priced Babies keeps the laughs coming
Reasonably Priced Babies return to Ambrose West on Friday, Jan. 17. The troupe also performs at Black Mountain Center for the Arts on Friday, Jan. 24.Justin Ray releases a pair of big band EPs
“I wanted to make swinging big band music, but I didn't want it to be a '20s/'30s tribute,” Ray says. “This is a style that can be vibrant and communicative…Smart bets: Asheville Mardi Gras Twelfth Night
The party takes place at Eleven on Grove on Monday, Jan. 6.(HUMOR) Local music news
The Asheville music community rallies around an ailing colleague, a busker ups her game and a prolific keyboardist's secret is revealed.food
(HUMOR) Asheville’s fast-food chicken sandwich smackdown
In the Popeyes vs. Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich war, the biggest question is: Why all the chicken?(HUMOR) Beer Scout: Zebulon Artisan Ales acquires Sierra Nevada
Sierra Nevada ownership changes hands and a new game show takes the nation by storm!Small bites: Asheville Proper slated to open this spring
Local chef Aaron McGlynn has big plans for 2020. Also: Chow Chow festival organizers host community input forums; The Asheville Hot Chocolate Races returns; The Chop Shop Butchery hosts its…living
All An Elk Trick
ASHEVILLE, N.C.movies
Screen Scene: Local film news
The Silent Sundays series returns with a Baby Peggy feature.news
Asheville Archives: Billy Borne’s cartoons, 1920
A look back on Billy Borne's 1920 cartoons.Admit or Deny
ASHEVILLE, N.C.Health briefs: Great nurses, funding awards and programs for autism
With funding flowing to WNC health care organizations from foundations and governmental sources, look for new and continuing programming to boost local health and well-being in 2020. Programs for people…Slates set for March 3 primary
A total of 19 candidates are currently in the running for Rep. Mark Meadows’ 11th Congressional District seat, including 12 Republicans, five Democrats and one candidate each from the Green…Racial equity and NC’s budding hemp industry
Not everyone is reaping the benefits of the booming industrial hemp sector. Although hard numbers are in short supply, a 2017 survey by the Marijuana Business Daily, a Colorado-based website,…Residents skeptical of Duke Energy’s Arden ash plans
On Dec. 19, the N.C. Department of Environmental Quality held a public hearing at A-B Tech to discuss Duke Energy’s plans to create a 12.5-acre industrial landfill at its Arden…opinion
Letter: Language shift will change perceptions
"Although it takes conscious effort and practice, these simple changes in our language make big shifts in our community of Asheville, which must also work to reconcile our own legacy…Letter: Change the way we speak about slavery
"We are writing this because we believe that we all should change the way we speak about slavery."Letter: Remembering the past more accurately
"Upon reading an article from The New York Times and the 1619 Project, we realized that the use of the words slave, slave owner and plantations are dehumanizing to the…(HUMOR) Prison pen-pals: Letters from corrupt Buncombe officials
Xpress imagines just what former County Manager Wanda Greene and her fellow corrupt ex-Buncombe County officials have been up to since reporting for federal prison last year — featuring Mandy…Letter: A problematic CBD experience
"I have no doubt CBD can be useful ... but in its current state with lack of regulation as well as testing, it’s very problematic, especially for those prone to…Letter: Trump must not go away!
"President Trump is a true patriot, who has made America stronger and done more in his first three years than many presidents do in eight years."(HUMOR) Xpressers almanac: What will 2020 bring?
Xpress staffers share their tongue-in-cheek prognostications for the coming year. Asheville-area conspiracy theories, complaints of the gentry, uses for the sinkhole and creative panhandling pitches are all on the list.Letter: TDA needs to listen to concerns
"This kind of denial of how tourism has negatively impacted people who live here will only infuriate them more."